


It Isn’t So Bad

by Reading_Is_Smexy



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Bill and the 7, Could be read as bichie, Hurt Bill, Hurt/Comfort, bill centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-11-02 02:00:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20583557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reading_Is_Smexy/pseuds/Reading_Is_Smexy
Summary: What if the fight in the sewers had gone a little differently? Doesn’t make much sense for 7 kids to fight a deadly monster, and come out just fine...Bill will /always/ protect his friends. No matter the cost.





	It Isn’t So Bad

It’s a funny feeling… The moment when you know you’ve gone from fear to acceptance. The moment you realize you’ll die for the people around you. No matter the cost, even if the cost is your own life. And you’ll never be more tranquil in your life.

Bill Denbrough would never forget the moment he knew. His feet scrambling for purchase against the gravel, the monster’s arm wrapped around his throat, eyes bright,and a snarling right by his ear. 

More than anything, Bill would remember the look on his friends’ faces.

“Let him go!” Bev’s voice shook, but only slightly. She was brave. So very brave. But Bill could see how afraid she was.

Mike stared at the scene in front of him. He was the oldest, and perhaps the strongest, but there was no denying the unmistakable fear dancing across his features. 

Richie, still on the ground, didn’t attempt to cover his fear. It shone on his face, wrenching Bill’s heart. 

Eddie, Stanley, and Ben fared just as well. They were scared, and nothing they could do would cover that up. 

  
  


“No.. l’ll take him!” Pennywise ground out. “I’ll take aaall of you!” The grip around Bill’s neck grew tighter. Claws silently erupting from the hands of the clown. They dug into his skin. Bill squeezed his eyes shut and hoped his friends couldn’t see the blood beginning to drip down his arms and face. “And I’ll feast on your flesh as I feed on your fear.” 

The deathlike grip on bill’s arm released. 

“ _ Orrrr…”  _ Pennywise’s finger shook. “You’ll just leave us be.” That hand joined the other on Bill’s face. “I will take him, only him. Then I will have my long rest, and you will alllll live to  _ grow _ and  _ thrive  _ and lead  _ haaaaaappppyyyy liiiiiives.  _ Until old age take you back to the weeeeeds…” 

This was the moment it hit Bill. The moment he knew he was dead. His friends, however, were still very much alive. If all he had to do was sacrifice himself for his friends, then what was he waiting for? It was his fault his friends were here. He put the looks of fear on their faces, he put them in danger, he let down Georgie. He would never let anyone down like that again. 

“Leave” Bill’s voice cracked, but he quickly covered it up. He couldn’t let them know how scared he was. “I’m the one who dragged you all into this.” Tears clouded his vision. “I’m s-s-s- I’m so s-sorry.”

“ _ S-s-sorry!”  _ Pennywise cackled above him, mocking him. 

“Go!” Looks of pity, fear, relief, guilt, and sorrow raced over his friends faces on repeat. Maybe, just maybe, he’d done right by them this time. Maybe they would go. Maybe they would leave him like he deserved to be left..

“Guys… we can’t!” Beverly. Always the voice to stand up for her boys. 

Richie stood then. An emotion flitted across his face that Bill couldn’t quite place. “I told you Bill… I fucking told you. I don’t want to die. It’s your fault!” Richie’s calm voice gradually broke into one full of anxiety and anger. “You punched me in the face, you made me walk through shitty water,” he counted the things off his fingers as he stepped closer to the pile of garbage. “You brought me to a fucking crackhead house. And now, I’m gonna have to kill this fucking clown.” 

The monster’s claws tore down Bill’s face as he pushed him off. The other hand? It pushed against his stomach to throw the boy to the side, but the claws, sharp as they were, easily pierced the skin there. And at the moment, Pennywise certainly wasn’t known for his delicacy. The claws tore down Bill’s center like it was ribbon as he was dropped to the floor. 

Bill hardly registered the roar of the clown as he dove for Richie. In fact, most of the fight barely registered. Save for a particularly horrific roar, or a scream from his friends, Bill wasn’t aware of what was happening around him at all. 

_ It isn’t so bad, Billy.  _

_ “ _ G-Georgie?” 

_ Hi big brother _

It couldn’t be.. Georgie was dead. Pennywise has already pretended to be Georgie and had hurt Bill more than once this way. But, in that moment. Bill couldn’t be bothered to tell himself that. Because Georgie, his sweet little brother, stood right in front of him, really him. His raincoat and boots were as clean as the day he last saw him. His arm, oh god his arm, was still perfectly attached. There was no blood, no grime, but most of all there was no fear. Georgie stood there in front of him looking just like the day he’d begged Bill to build him a boat. 

“Georgie, what are you d-doing here?” 

_ Billy you can come and play with me now! You aren’t sick anymore and look!  _ Georgie held up the boat held in his hand that Bill had somehow missed.  _ She’ll be the fastest one there!  _

_ “ _ You said it wasn’t so bad. What isn’t Georgie?” 

His little brother said nothing but a certain sorrow took over his features. It was a mature kind of sorrow, one that should never be on his baby brother’s face. 

  
  
  


“Bill!” Richie’s desperate shout filled the entire sewer and it echoed off the walls of the cavern. 

The rest of the group looked away from the pit that Pennywise disappeared into and looked to where Richie was running.  _ Bill. _

When Richie skidded to a stop next to his best friend, bile forced its way up his throat and he turned his head to throw up. This couldn’t be happening. So much awful shit had already happened, but not Bill. It was never supposed to be Bill. There were deep scratches down his cheek, his arm was cut and covered in so much blood. Most apparently, the boy’s abdomen was torn to shreds. Cut so badly it was hardly recognizable. The worst bit, though, was his eyes. They were dull; he nearly looked dead.

“Richie, is he…” Beverly’s voice shook. She couldn't look at him. Wouldn’t.

“No, he- he’s still alive. I think.” 

Before any of them could ask or say anymore, The boy in question spoke up. “G-Georgie?” 

The stuttered name shook Richie to his core. 

“Bill, Georgie isn’t here remember? He… he died, Bill. But we’re all here,” he looked to all his friends, old and new. “We’re all safe, Bill.” 

“Georgie, what are you d-doing here?” 

Stanley sniffled behind him. 

“Big Bill? Billy?” 

“You said it wasn’t so bad. What isn’t, Georgie?” 

Mike knelt down on Bill’s other side, inspecting the wound as best he could without disturbing him. As he pulled the shirt away, Bill’s strangled scream rang out. 

Stanley all but dropped to his knees next to Richie. “It’s okay, Bill. It’s gonna be okay, you’re gonna be okay. We’ll get you out of here, you’ll get better and you and I can have matching bandages.” Hope laced his words, as well as desperation. 

“G-guys?” Looking back to Bill, Richie saw some of the color had returned to his eyes, and he now looked  _ at  _ them rather than through them. “It hurts. Where’d Georgie go? He was just there…” Bill’s voice was strained from pain, as well as from fear. Fear that Georgie was gone again. 

“Bill…” it was Beverly. Sweet Beverly, always so gentle. “Georgie is gone. But we got rid of it, Bill. It’s gone.” The pain of losing Georgie shone in his tear filled eyes, but this was, what, the fourth time? The pain of losing him would never go away, but the intensity would lessen. Each time Bill had to say goodbye, it got a fraction easier. 

“H-he’s really gone then?” Bill’s heartbreak was evident in his voice. As Beverly was answering, he heard Mike apologize. For what, he wasn’t sure. 

A wave of pain rushed through every nerve ending he had as Mike lifted him from the ground. Ah, so that’s what the apology was for. 

The losers club managed to get Bill out of the sewers, but it was all for naught. No one could lose that much blood and survive. He fought so hard to stay with his friends. They begged and pleaded with him to stay. But no matter how hard they begged, Bill would always go with Georgie. And when Georgie held out his small hand as an invitation, telling Bill the pain would stop if he just grabbed his hand, there was very little that would stop Bill from doing so. 

Richie clutched at Bill’s collar, screaming for him to stop being such a bitch and leaving them all. Trashmouth Richie, always. 

Beverly planted feather light kisses on his face, wishing he could do it back, blush on his cheeks. 

Eddie held Bill’s hand and apologized for being such a scaredy cat. He chanted his apologies and Bill’s name like a mantra.

Ben didn’t attempt to hold in his sobs as he watched the boy who brought them all together died. 

Mike had his knees drawn to his chest as he cried and apologized for not being fast enough, strong enough. 

Stanley felt like he couldn’t breathe. His whole world was collapsing around him as his best friend’s wheezing slowed to nothing. 

The losers club knew they’d won against it, but in that moment, it felt like they’d done everything but.

  
  
  
  
  



End file.
